Quiet

Wow, I've been very quiet lately posting on this blog. I'm still around. And well, no news is good news. I guess I'm not very inspired right now to write big stories here.

A few quick things:
* my first Bucharest post is now updated with a couple of pictures, but everything else can be seen in my Romania and Budapest sets.

* no definite plans on new foreign travel, though I'm taking a week in the Netherlands next month. Yay!

* still (or rather, again) househunting. Am now properly excited which is good.

* events lined up for the next few weeks: Raw Rhythm Festival, Museumnacht, Pechakucha, We Solo Men, Kunstfort Asperen.

It's going to be a good summer.

Update!

Wow, it's been ages since I've posted anything substantial here! So, a quick rundown of the past few weeks:

> I quit the 365-project. Too much hassle of always having to think 'I need to take a picture!' while I wanted to just enjoy whatever it was that I was doing at that time without taking pictures.

> Work is really busy, but really good as well. It almost feels as if I'm (almost) playing with The Important People. Very fun.

> Two more sleeps and I'm on my way to China! Harbin, Dalian, Beijing. Very hectic and full work schedule but I'm so so excited.

> Am back to (internet) dating - why do I always get the weird guys? Gah.

> Every January's highlight: the International Film Festival in Rotterdam. Saw some very weird (Lazarus 1-2-0; A Climate for a Crime) things, some interesting things (Jerichow; Er Dong) and some really good things (12 Lotus - fantastic!; Left Handed).

> Am househunting! Very scary. Eek.

> Am also finding new friends. Very fun :-D

Will be posting some travel stories hopefully in two weeks' time. Will definitely be posting travel pictures in two weeks' time. Stay tuned.

Spring is in the air

I love this time of the year. You can feel it's getting warmer (despite the occasional storm), birds are singing and people are walking around the city with a big smile.

First time to wear open-heeled shoes.
First time to put away my wintercoat as it's too hot to wear it.

All that combined with strolling the market, buying fresh flowers, olives, yummy food. Planning an impromptu evening with friends, after still being on a slight high from a fun night in the pub the evening before.

*bliss*

Update

Things are good. I think I'll like this job (and am scared I have expectations that are much too hight).

For now though, I'm being overwhelmed with lots of information and trainings and so on, but it's all good. Getting to know lots of new people but they seem fun.

But, there's good stuff ahead:

tomorrow - an event on Indonesian human rights
friday - great night out in Amsterdam. yay.
saturday - a taiko-gig! so cool, I'm going to be so homesick for Japan after that.
sunday - the homesickness will continue after meeting one of my friends from Osaka (if she'll confirm....!).

Yay ((*^-^*))

Wheeeeee!

I'm not very sure what's gotten into me.... cycling home today, in the sun, just being overwhelmed with this feeling of complete happiness. It's definitely been a very long time.

I'm most likely getting way ahead of myself, but have so many things to look forward to. Giddiness when thinking about tomorrow night. Then, Friday is my last day of my current job. Excitement about the flight on the following week on Saturday. And in two weeks time there's the mystery weekend. And I still have to even start my new job yet.

Too good to be true? Dunno, but I'll enjoy this as long as it lasts.

Inspirationless

I seem to have lost all inspiration for blogging lately. Not sure why, I think I'm too busy with other stuff.

Things are good though, I think:

• of the bbq's I mentioned below, one was rained upon heavily, the second was wisely cancelled, the third one is expected to be sunless and wet as well.
  
• more fun stuff this week: seeing Pearl Jam! I saw them over 10 years ago, as the first major live gig for me to see. So, this will be one big nostalgia trip I think :-D
• just home from a totally bizarre movie: Inland Empire by David Lynch. I think I need to sleep on it for a night before deciding what I actually think of it other than BIZARRE.
• no more guy-stuff to complicate things for a while - which is very good actually (sorry, no more juicy details to share for this story...).
  
• I'm busy trying to find ways to pull off a 'new & improved' machi. I think I finally got kicked into action last week although now I just need to figure out how to make it work.
• although I'm very confident that this jobhunting crap WILL finish someday, I can't quite imagine anymore what it's like to not have to constantly be on the look-out for interesting vacancies, to not feel guilty anymore about not writing new application letters etc etc.
  
• one week to go until dental surgery :-/ I was completely freaking out about this last year, this time around I've hardly given it any thought so far which is very good.
• I cannot believe that I've been writing this blog for over 2,5 years already and it's still up and running....
  

Okay, not sure if the above summarizes into 'life is good' but weirdly enough it does feel like it.

Escape vs. ...

This past half year has been really hectic, as you know.

One thing that I'm still happy about though, is not taking (all of) the initial professional advice that I got. The happy pills are still in my house somewhere, in a box unopened, and in a way are a reminder that I don't need them, don't want them and can be fine without them.

But sometimes it would probably just be easier. Either that, or allowing myself to escape.

Or I should just go to bed and sleep.....

Random dots

• I can't make up my mind. I was walking around the Ministry of Economic Affairs this morning and thinking: 'this is the type of work I want to do. International, challenging, etc etc. I should stop bothering with all the rest of it'. Then tonight I was at a civic forum (is that the word?) - participative (is that English?) democracy at a very local level. And thinking 'I want to know more about this, this is fascinating stuff'. Gah. Although admittedly, I suspect the first thought might be recurring more often....
• am looking for information about legislation in Japan. Can anyone help? I don't know where to look... apparently there's a legal revision entering into force on June 7 (or being confirmed then?) and it should be about day-to-day living conditions of inmates (specifically on death row?). I don't really know where to find out more - this is all I have. Anyone?
• Two more sleeps until London! Wheeee!
• Lots of jobhunting stuff to work on - don't know when though...
• The more I read Japanese over the last few days the more I'm freaking out about the interpreting job. I can't back out anymore, can I? :-/
• Oh and, my resolutions from the beginning of the week (pc off by 10pm, in bed by 11pm, breakfast!) are failing miserably.... *sigh*
  

Two things

* I sometimes forget that this blog isn't quite as anonymous anymore as it started out.... Hmm. Not bad in itself, but I sometimes catch myself having written stuff that maybe shouldn't have been out here. Or I find out about people reading who I didn't think were reading at all (although this is usually a good thing I think). Oh well.

* One of the things that is suddenly very different since leaving my last job: I don't speak English anymore! My life used to be bilingual. English in the office, a little bit of Dutch/German/French in between; Dutch outside of the office with English mixed in with certain friends and so on. Right now it's all English. Except for the occasional phone call or meeting with non-Dutch friends. Quite bizarre.

Meme

I've run out of inspiration for the one-post-a-day-thing, so am tagging onto Jo's meme:

1. PICK OUT A SCAR YOU HAVE, AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT IT.
I have a small dent in my shin when I fell onto the corner of the back part of a furniture truck which was unloading my parents' new living room furniture when I was about 10 or so.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
In my kitchen: a 1960's Mao poster. In my living room: a hand-written Japanese kanji scroll and a blue African print-type cloth.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE.
A very standard Sony Ericsson model. I would LOVE to use my hot pink Japanese phone here though!

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
All kinds. Lately, a lot of Zita Swoon, Arcade Fire, starting to listen to some more drum'n'bass again, etc. And online stuff through 3voor12 and Pandora of course.

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
The same as it has been for two years or so (too lazy to change): a view across a gorgeous Mexican lake.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
To sleep (in 15 minutes!). And a proper job, what else?

7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?
Well, yes, just as much as I believe in any other marriage I s'pose. Although I mostly see it as a great reason for a fantastic party!

8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
No idea.

9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
Yes. 30 years and counting.

10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Just turned on a drum'n'bass collection cd.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
Nope, not really.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Probably my GP.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Don't have many but I like the Naomi Campbell scents.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Dark hair, blue/greyish eyes I think.

15. DO YOU LIKE PAIN KILLERS?
Nope, but hardly ever have a reason to take them.

16. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Probably yes. Although it hardly happens that I'm interested enough in someone to want to ask him out. And I'm getting better at it :-D

17. FAVE PIZZA TOPPING?
Mozzarella, tomato, basil. Yumm.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Nothing. Too tired!

19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
No idea, I hope no one!

20. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Not quite yet, getting closer maybe/hopefully....

Random dots

• Wheeee, the weekend in London is booked!
  
• Just found out that one of my best Japanese friends is transferring to NYC this summer - yet another reason to really make the US-trip work sometime this year.
• Wisdom comes with age. That's what they say, right? I am starting to believe this less and less. I thought people knew what they want as they get older?
  
• My current bedtime reading books are all about (international) law, local government, and more political/judicial things. Good, but quite a change from the usual!
  

Spring is in the air...

... and I'm loving it!

I think the sun is supposed to leave tomorrow, but somehow I don't think it's going to matter.

A quick review of the weekend:

listened to - !!! and Zita Swoon on Friday (review in Dutch is here)
disappointed with - the workshops I attended on the Afrikadag on Saturday
very pleasantly surprised by - good food and company on Saturday night (to be continued hopefully)

And spent Sunday catching up with friends, getting some new energy from the sun, and celebrating a friend's birthday at the bowling center. The last bit was very geeky, but very fun.

Also, looking forward to - spending time in Antwerp and Leuven at the end of the month. Yay for international friends.

Babyshopping!

Strangely enough, although late '20s would be about the time that people start having kids, my social circle has been very empty of kids so far. Buying houses and talk of mortgages - yes. Weddings and hen nights - yes. Kids or pregnancy stories - no.

So, Sunday's toy shopping for tonight's dinner was quite out of the ordinary. But in a sense also perfectly rationalize-able - after all, the couple that I visited are in their late '30s.

It was still weird being in a toyshop though - trying to pick out a cool toy for a new(-ish; with all the hecticness of the past year we've been out of touch for a while) baby boy. Luckily, he loved it. His parents will have to live with the constant rattling of it I fear... And an evening of wearing the boy out so he'd sleep and trying not to wake him up again after he finally did sleep.

It'll be a different world when this starts happening to friends closer to me....

Saint Petersburg - or: escape from Real Life

Now that I'm on a plane again, I've resorted back to my tiny notebook from China & Baikonur to write down my impressions. It strikes me again how I should do this in real life as well.

Because sitting in an airplane flying off to a new place doesn't feel like real life. At all. And yet it's the only thing I feel like doing over these past few weeks.

Sitting here I almost get a 'flash-forward' to the time that I still have left until April. That flight is more extreme though - a mystery trip, of sorts. I'm on my way somewhere, but I don't know when this plane is landing, or where that landing place will be. And that's just until April.

More in general, life over the past 1,5 years has felt like a rollercoaster. A very long and windy one, with high ascents immediately followed by deep plunges.

I love rollercoasters. I love the thrill of being on one, the adrenaline screaming through your body. Not anymore though. Can we stop the ride? This one is going on for too long, I can't see the finish and whatever is in between is too fogged over to see. I'm tired of this, I want to jump off.

The comparison doesn't completely match of course. With a rollercoaster you finish at the same place as you started. And that's not the case for me. I'm heading to a better place and knowing that, I'll hang on to the ride for now instead of jumping out of the carriage. Those things never work out well.

----

For now, I'm descending towards Pulkovo-2 airport, where I'll be met by a friend who I haven't seen for 1,5 years. Bring on the vodka!

And now for something different

With all these jobhunting posts of the last few weeks, you'd think I've slunk away in a corner being depressed. Luckily this isn't quite the case, so some highlights of this month:

• movies at the IFFR, with this year's favourite being My mother is a bellydancer, a very cute and touching Hongkong movie about belly dance classes and the lives of the women taking them.

• new discoveries while out in Amsterdam: Studio 80, a club not trying to be very fancy or anything but that just plays good music. And not completely club-related but spending an evening with YouAct was very entertaining too. Not only to finally see what one of my best friends is involved in with her work, but being around a very fun group of Europeans (I think we had 10 nationalities out of 13 people). And it was a trip down memory lane... bad Brits for knowing so many drinking games (and making me be all nostalgic for Australian and Japanese nights out)!

• and there's more coming... The Decemberists on Wednesday and another international weekend after that. Yay for the internet

The future

The future to me is undefined. Mythical, almost. A fantasy, far away, one that you will never reach.

Imagine my shock that all of a sudden events which used to have a mythical sound to it are turning out to be real.

A plan that was thought up eight years ago, and that we all laughed about as it was just funny, but come on, who really thought it would happen??

So as I am filling out my new 2007 calendar I come to this one date - the mythical one. And it's real. Scary.

Random bullets

I have a few things in my head, but can't get them written out. This is the gist of it, in any case.

• Inspiration - why can't it just be? I can feel it is kind of back, partly due to a very fun Monday night (see also the next bullet), which is very good. But still - I just want it to stay. Especially because every time I'm on a high, that high gets higher and unfortunately the inevitable low is lower than before.

• Film - a perfect description of The Queen (in Dutch only)

• Inefficiency - I have had an afternoon full of amazement. To give you the story very quickly, last year I applied for a volunteer job and didn't get it due to lack of experience (the magic word). Today, after another round of complete inefficiency on their side, I was back for another interview for a slightly different volunteer job. It turned out not to be an interview, but more an announcement to tell me I had the job (yay!). Somewhere in between was mentioned that they aren't quite happy with whoever ended up with last year's job. Gosh, really? Where are snarky responses when you need them!

• Office politics - My boss is letting me in on all kinds of confidential stuff which is good (especially because my position is the most insecure - again). But so annoying, because my colleagues are still doing the same thing which is completely going to change in a few weeks and then I'll be stuck (partly) with trying to fix things. Gah. I hate how everything in this office needs to be so politicized, in a sense.
  

Must haves:

I'm not a big brand freak, but: I love these shoes!

Definite must haves, except that I have no idea how I'm supposed to get them. Being on the other side of the world kind of complicates things...

(through Gridskipper: Tokyo)

Temptation (2)

"You should let your hair down more." (although the person who told me this probably had something very different in mind!)

"Female solidarity stops at the border." (partly tongue in cheek, I'm sure)

Just some random quotes that I've been told recently. And in between there's me thinking I think too much about consequences and more.

It's probably for the best.

On the other hand, being a good girl can be boring, no? I guess I have to find some other way to make life fun ;-)

What I've missed:

* Friday nights in the pub catching up with friends, followed by a night of dancing and drinking.

* Saturday- and Sunday mornings, slowly waking up with coffee and the paper.

* Chatting away evenings with gossip and the latest news with more friends.

* Spending a day at the cinema, seeing weird and cool/cute Japanese movies, followed by a very natsukashii Japanese dinner (funnily enough, the cook actually recognized me eventhough it's been ages since I was there last).

In between all this there was more talk of making plans (Crossing Border, IDFA, Krakow plans!), trying out new restaurants, etc etc. Life is good. This is how I like things. And this is why being away for two months felt like way too long!